This is not something from me but it's is something that I want to share. This theory is developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. I found it very true in many way. It's not only about love between soul-mates but it apply also on love between friends and family. The theory explain that different types love is made of different types component. The components consist of Intimacy, Passion, Commitment. The existence of this three component will determine what type of love that the two person is having. The visual below will explain what I mean.
You may notice not all component exist at the same time. The type of love is depending on that component at exist at that time. Different combination of component may also effect on what type of love it is having.
Below is the more elaborate explanation which I got from wikipedia.
Nonlove
- is the absence of all three of Sternberg's components of love.
Liking/friendship
- is not defined in a trivial sense. Rather, Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not passion or long-term commitment.
Infatuated love
- is pure passion. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.
Empty love
- is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion. A stronger love may deteriorate into empty love. In an arranged marriage, the spouses' relationship may begin as empty love and develop into another form.
Romantic love
- bonds individuals both intimately and passionately, but neither is sustained without commitment.
Companionate love
- is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.
Fatuous love
- can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
Consummate love
- is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple.” According to Sternberg, these couples will continue to have great sex fifteen years or more into the relationship, they cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other. However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die" (1987, p. 341). Thus, consummate love may not be permanent. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love.
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